Written by Lady J

For ages black women have given and received messages about their hair being inextricably linked to their beauty, to their identity, and occasionally, to their strength. As well, anyone with access to a television or newspaper will have noticed that since the release of Chris Rock's movie Good Hair, there has been a lot of chatter about the stuff on the heads of black women everywhere. Many of the unspoken norms for black women have been shared, style secrets have been spilled, and urban hair myths have been debunked. As a result, I feel a heightened awareness of the fact that, at any given moment, people could be staring at my head and wondering where my $1000 weave is. I travelled to Trinidad earlier this year and was awe-struck at the sights of some of the most beautiful natural hair that I had ever seen. Maybe it was the combination of the hair, the beach and Soca music, but that trip catapulted me from the “considering” phase that I had been in for two years, into actually planning my journey to go relaxer free. I decided to cut my hair short first to get used to the length and then stop relaxing. I was set. At the salon, my hair had been washed and I had told the stylist which Rihanna-inspired style I wanted. As he completed his first snip with the scissors, removing exactly 3¼ inches of hair – I had an anxiety attack. Suddenly I felt like Samson.

Samson (who would be played by me in this story) is a biblical character blessed with superhuman strength. (I'm a single mother. Enough said.) He is tricked by Delilah (enter conniving hairstylist) into revealing the source of his strength (his locks/my hair), at which point she hires people to shave his head while he sleeps. He wakes up with the strength of every other regular Joe, only to be blinded by bullies, imprisoned and destined to forever grind grain. Okay, there are some minor differences, but in that instant as I sat in the chair hyperventilating and wishing a plague upon this stylist's home, I would have bet money that the story was the true account of a woman who had just come from getting her hair cut.

After about 30 seconds, I lifted my head from between my legs and regained my normal rate of breathing. The rest of the hair appointment went off without a hitch! (Much to the delight of the now traumatized hairstylist.) That was 6 months ago. I have since had half a dozen haircuts and am happy to say that I have been neither blinded nor imprisoned. 3 months ago I stopped relaxing my hair, as well. When I ran into a woman that I had not seen in quite some time, she stopped me to ask what I had done to my hair. “You used to have such long, straight hair! I remember it was past your shoulders.” She shook her head in disappointment, “Those who want it don't have it and those who can get it, cut it off!” I smiled at her and said, “Maybe one day I'll grow it back....or not. Who knows? After all, It's just hair!” And to my own surprise, I meant it.

Lady J is the kind of chick you can usually find trying to learn something new. She's learning about all this new natural hair on her head, learning how to make words dance and sing in her poetry and is also back at school to learn how to do her job in two other languages. Most recently, she has had her nose stuck in her MacBook, trying to learn how to improve and add to her new blog Pen to Pages (www.pentopages.blogspot.com)

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Your name/username:
Ieisha

Where are you from?
Originally Chicago, IL but I'm living in the metro Detroit area for law school.

How long did you transition?
I did the BC on October 13, 2009.

Tell us your hair story. Why did you decide to go natural?
I used to keep my hair short. Always. And then my BFF decided she was getting married so in true maid-of-honor fashion, I was growing my hair out so she could have some versatility with the styling. So for over a year, I grew out my hair and kept relaxing it. The result was longer but weak hair that was not healthy. It was thin and stress was causing it to break off even more.

August 2009, the wedding got called off and I didn't go in for my touch up. I was tired of my hair breaking off and shedding every morning. So since I didn't have to grow it out for the wedding, I decided that instead of having long hair, I wanted to have healthy hair. I went to a salon for a consultation (Transitions Salon, aptly named) and the owner took the time to walk me through what I'd expect over the next year as far as the stages my hair would go through and what styles I'd be able to wear. The salon carried natural hair products (Carol's Daughter and Miss Jessie's) so I wouldn't have to go searching for products to use in my hair. She carried smaller, sample sizes of everything so I could buy it and try it before committing to one outright. My experience at the consultation appointment went so well that I made my actual appointment for a week later and on October 13, 2009, I did the BC.

What have you discovered so far in your natural hair journey?
I have discovered a few things in my short natural hair journey. One, relaxed women are living vicariously through me. They always are commenting that they wish they could do what I did. Two, natural women welcome me with open arms and giving me tips on how they tackled their journey. Three, white women say my hair is 'sassy' which I found to be an interesting word to describe my hair. Sassy? Natural hair is sassy? Ok, I'll buy that.

But most importantly, I have discovered how much self-esteem and confidence I REALLY have! When I first did the BC, I thought I had made a HUGE mistake. I told myself that I shouldn't have been so rushed to cut off the relaxer. I was going to look like a boy or a cancer patient. The drive home, I kept thinking about my boyfriend's reaction. Is he gonna be attracted to me still? Will people mistake me for his little brother? I had all kinds of insane thoughts!

But when the dust settled on the third or fourth glance in the mirror, I realized that my beauty was coming from within. I know that is so cliche but it is SO true! I took the time out in the morning to fluff my TWA and to put on makeup and to pick out accessories that would compliment my hair. And it showed. I get people telling me that I look healthy and that my skin is glowing. A stranger in the grocery store even commented that he liked my hair natural.

My journey thus far has also proven to me that natural hair can be professional. In a law school setting where I'm constantly networking and competing, I'm able to portray myself and I think my hair now matches my personality.

What technique has helped you the most?
In this initial grow phase, deep moisturizing has been imperative. I never knew what cowashing was until I did the BC. Now I live by it and will cowash once or twice a week. I use a carrot oil for extra moisture and I've fallen in love with Miss Jessie's Buttercreme. I don't plan on using heat until I've gotten six inches of growth.

Your advice to the readers:
Going natural is not a step but a lifestyle. It takes a commitment to something bigger than just kicking your 'creamy crack' habit. By going natural, you're going to have a better understanding of who you are and that can only be great for your personal growth. As for your hair, condition & moisturize, condition & moisturize!

The fabulous Teiko Dornor.

What are five hair care products/tools you can't live without? Spill, spill!

Right now, we can't live without: F.O.T.E Aloe Vera Gel, Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner, Kinky Curly Knot Today Conditioner, Denman D4 Brush, and the Wet Look Wide-Tooth Comb.

Beautiful ladies from Essence's Street Style: Corporate Appeal gallery.

Your name/username
Kalah

Where are you from?
Manhattan, NY

How long have you been transitioning?
I've been transitioning for 1 year and 10 months

Tell us your hair story. Why did you decide to transition?
I was natural for 18 years of my life and I loved it. I my hair was long and thick. I lived off of press n' curls and I'd constantly get compliments from people who thought my hair was a weave or wig (which I've never wore before). By the end of my Senior year in HS my mother thought it was time I got a perm because I was going to college. I never wanted to get a relaxer even though for almost my entire life I had been pressured by my hairdresser and dominican hair dressers to do so. Finally after constant prodding and pressuring and feeling guilty I finally did as my mom asked and got a relaxer from my hairdresser of 6 years. I used CON no lye relaxer and man did it itch. I was hella sad. My hair felt so lifeless, I mean it was still long but I just wasn't used to relaxed hair and I didn't like how it looked for awhile.

Eventually after several months I was getting accustomed to my relaxed hair until I went to college and tried to wash my hair myself. Oh, btw I never washed my hair by myself even when I was 18..I only learned how to do it properly a year later...sad I know. So I was in my college dorm trying to wash my hair alone and tons of hair came out. Clumps of relaxed hair came out I was so scared. After that and getting my hair touched up two more times I was done. I hated relaxers and I hated not having my natural thickness. I missed my puffy hair. My hair had become shorter and thinner. I continued to shed like crazy even though I went to the hair salon twice a month for wash and deep condition (which was substantial when I had natural hair).

So after getting my first relaxer in July or August of 2007 and getting my last touch up in January of 2008, I went all natural. I continued going to the salon for wash n' sets but I stopped my touch ups. And finally in the second week of September of 2009 I stopped going to salons all together. I know it's pretty recent but I completely started washing my hair once a week which is a step up from my previous twice a month wash n' set. I now pre-poo for 30mins to and hour, shampoo with CON moisturizing shampoo, deep condition with ORS replenishing pack and a leave-in moisturizing/ protein conditioner.

I never use heat and I live off of twist outs, braid outs and buns. Oh! and I now moisturize and seal at least once a day, twice if I feel good. I'm really hoping to get back to my glory days but whenever I feel depressed over my short thin hair I try not to look back at my old pics and I just tell myself that it took 18 years to get my hair the length it use to be so I have until I'm in my 30s to see if my new regimen is working.

What have you discovered so far in your transitioning journey?
It is not easy! It definitely takes a lot of time and patience (which I've always lacked). So it's definitely an uphill struggle but you have to stay motivated, moisturized and protein-ed up.

What technique has helped you the most during your transition?
I actually do not use heat anymore not even for dc...but that's just because I'm on a no heat challenge for 100 days and I always deep condition. I don't have silk or satin pillows but I do have a satin cap, so that's holding me over.

Your advice to the readers
Minimize heat usage and moisturize & seal your hair (ends especially).

written by Jacquette of Nappy and the City

“Oh, girl, your hair is NAPPY,” is what my mother yelled out to me as I walked in her house for our weekly family dinner. As soon as I heard that, it’s like I had a full, out-of-body experience, and I was watching a little girl get her hair pressed, holding her ear as her mother struggled to turn her hair, full of nappy curls, into long, shiny straightness with the blazing hot pressing comb. “Girl, you got some nappy hair,” is what I heard when I was a little girl, and its what my mother fails to realize, still sparks up a little hurt every time I hear her say it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my nappy hair. I, myself, call my hair nappy because the word in itself doesn’t make me afraid and it doesn’t hurt me. I embrace the word (I have a blog, Nappy and the City, titled after it), but when I hear my mom say it, it stirs up a totally different emotion.

During the past few weeks, I’ve been writing and discussing “Texture Envy” with my friends (texture envy is a term I use when someone is envious of someone else’s hair texture), and we realized one major factor: How we feel about our hair primarily comes from our mothers. We start straightening our hair, in many cases, because it is more convenient for our moms to comb our hair when we’re little. They say, “You’ll look so pretty,” or “don’t you want to have long hair?” And moms don’t fully know how much those things really cripple us when we’re that young and impressionable. Speaking from a more personal note, I always sought out my mom’s approval when it came to my hair.

I am in full understanding that our peers hold a strong influence on appearance, but imagine if you had a different influence at home. I waited to do the BC because I was so afraid of what my actual hair looked like without chemicals. I can remember back when I didn’t have a relaxer, but the only memories I have of that time regarding my hair is having it pressed or braided. I could not, for the life of me, remember my texture of hair. On top of that, I cannot recall my mom having an enjoyable experience combing my hair. I was one of those tendered headed kids, so everything hurt me! I would rub my scalp, or try to move the comb, or shield my head whenever I got it combed, and every time I did that, it resulted in me getting the back of my hand popped. So the thought of going natural was a scary one for me. I wondered what started this awful cycle. I knew it didn’t start with my mom. I imagined that she got it from her mom, and her mom’s mom, then her mom before her. On my search for a deeper understanding, I ended finding some interesting information.

Hair in Black America isn’t a new “hot-button” topic that was created with the filming of Chris Rock’s Good Hair documentary. It goes back to the first arrival of Blacks in America. In the documentary 400 Years Without a Comb, there is a scene that shows a little girl looking on to her mother combing the hair of the slave owner’s child so effortlessly, the black child began to become envious of the comfort and pleasure her mother got from combing the straight hair. The mother says to her daughter, “See [she] doesn’t cry when I comb her hair.” The narrator goes on to say the girl couldn’t help but notice the enjoyment her mother received from combing the straight hair over hers, whose hair was difficult to comb and had to be pressed straight then covered with a head wrap. This sparked a sense of embarrassment and hatred for her hair. This scene helped me to realize where texture envy must have truly emerged for Blacks in America.

Most mothers may not realize that constantly showing our children what a displeasure it is in combing they’re hair can lead to ill fillings toward the nature of their hair. Telling our children, “you have nappy hair,” can’t be used derogatorily. We should teach our children that their hair may be different from some of the kids in they’re class and most of the people they see on TV, but its beautiful in all of is curly, kinky, and nappy glory! I may still seek my mom’s approval with my hair, but when she says, “girl, your hair is nappy,” I make sure she includes, “and nappy looks good on you!”

An East. St. Louis, IL native, Jacquette “Ms. Quetta” Smith is an author who writes regularly for www.nappystl.com. She has a BA in English and future aspirations of publishing her first novel. Nappy and the City is a natural hair care blog that chronicles her “Natural Hair” journey and has features on various hair products, local salon reviews, and interviews with other natural women who love all things nappy. Jacquette currently lives in St. Louis, MO.

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