Comments on The Coarse Hair Diary: My Momma Taught Me That...

This is a great piece,very very thought provoking....

2009-12-06T10:27:29.285-05:00

This is a great piece,very very thought provoking.
kiss,
Marian

Thanks everyone for your comments on the post and ...

2009-10-26T01:46:07.809-04:00

Thanks everyone for your comments on the post and I'm so glad you enjoyed the article (and I hope ya'll weren't laughing at my baby pictures...lmao)!

@ Sarah: that's right girl, let it be known that nappy hair does NOT equate bad hair!

@ Shannon, I definitely agree with your comment! It's certainly not something that was started with our mothers, but mothers have the first opportunity to break the horrible cycle.

@ Danielle, your hair story sounds similar to mine. Its only been a little over a year since my BC and I've learned so much, but self-love has been the top lesson over any hair tutorial or product review anyone could have done or shown me. I was expecting a new look and a new way of expression from my newly natural hair; I was by no means expecting a major boost in confidence and a pride within myself that is indescribable!!!

I'm still learning to brush off the negative comments, which I'm recieving much less the more confident I become with my hair. I've always had confidence, but it didn't radiate from me as it does now. So, anyway, I'm looking forward to new growth and longer, healthier hair. I'm just glad that I'm able to show my mom (and anyone else who thinks negatively about natural hair) that it can be styled flawlessly and that nappy hair is nothing to be ashamed of!

Thanks for commenting!

* I know this is long, bear with me ;) * Very good...

2009-10-25T01:53:10.847-04:00

* I know this is long, bear with me ;) *
Very good read!!! I can totally relate to your story...only in my case it was my grandmother's approval that I sought. From birth, I had a head full of veeeeeeeery thick hair. My mother started relaxing it when I was in Kindergarden, so I have no early memories of my natural hair texture.

For the first few years my hair grew a lot; I loved going to church with my grandmother and hearing her friends comment on how pretty my hair was. By time I was 10, my hair was breaking off, shedding, and thinning all over the place. My hair no longer received the praise I was used to getting. Instead of pretty press outs, I starting gravitating towards braids and other extentions.

In the 5th grade, my mother, a slave to relaxers, gel, and #4 clip-on ponytails, shocked us all and went for the BC. At first I was embarassed for her; my grandmother made remarks to her like, "Your hair sure did look better before you cut it all off!", and when she got it twisted for the first time I remember my grandmother saying, "Girl your hair sure do look crazy!"

I know those words hurt my mother, because in a way it hurt me too. I admired my mother's courage, but I was in no way interested in feeling her pain.

In 2007 I finally woke up and took a good look at my hair. At 17 years old, I was no stranger to perms, dyes (permanent, semi-permanent, henna, rinses, you name it), bleach, hot irons, blow dryers, all types of weaves, and other ridiculously harmful things for my hair. My hair was THIN. It had no body it all. It was missing in some places, broken off and uneven EVERYWHERE, and my edges were disappearing. I knew that if I wanted to maintain what hair I had left, I could not get another relaxer.

I grew my hair for about two months and I went to a barber to get it all cut off. The whole time she tried to persuede me not to do it; "I can just cut the back down low and keep your sides long, that's a really popular cut right now!", she said. I told her to just keep cutting.

28 months later I can honestly say that it's the best thing I could have done, not only for my hair, but for my SPIRIT. I can take pride in my hair because it is MINE, THE WAY GOD INTENDED IT TO BE! I can't remember my hair ever being so soft, long, full of volume and body, and of course, FULL!

I know I made it sound painless, but believe me, during my first year there were plenty of bad hair days when I seriously thought about running to the nearest beauty supply store and buying a relaxer. When my grandmother saw me for the first time, she didn't even say a word to me. She shook her head and walked away. I also decided to do this in the middle of summer school, right before my senior year in high school (oh yes, senior year).

More than anything it's a lesson in self-love. If you love yourself you take care of yourself, right? Right! So if you love your hair, take care of your hair! Learn what your hair's strength's and weaknesses are and learn to work WITH them! A little effort goes a long way...it might seem like a chore at first, but that's only because you haven't figured out your "hair secrets" yet. After a few months you'll have a couple of routines down that you can get through in no time. Once I entered this stage in my hair journey, I truly fell back in love with my hair. I saw how versatile it was, how fast it grew when unmanipulated, how easily (and sometimes difficultly lol) I could try different looks, people started complimenting me everywhere I went.

A few times a week, someone will ask me, "Is all that your real hair?". I just smile big and say, "Yep. It's all me!". I occasionally get the negative comments (mostly from my grandmother), but they don't hurt anymore; I'M PROUD of my NAPPY, KINKY, CURLY HAIR, AND I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ALL THE HAIR WEAVES IN MALAYSIA!!!!

Agreed that our experiences make an impression on ...

2009-10-23T21:02:27.184-04:00

Agreed that our experiences make an impression on how we feel about our hair, but it is also the "beauty standard" that we see advertised that cause our mothers to view their hair and their daughter's hair as less than beautiful. Too blame mothers alone is a tragedy as they too are effected by society. We have been taught to hate ourselves and others like us. But building positive images at home is DEFINITELY the place to make the change. This is true of hair and any other issues. Great article!

Good read! It's so true. Our family, especially ou...

2009-10-22T23:15:25.532-04:00

Good read! It's so true. Our family, especially our mothers, make us believe whether our hair is ugly or pretty.

this is so true!!! People don't know that when the...

2009-10-22T22:29:53.725-04:00

this is so true!!! People don't know that when theu say negative things about a child's hair that it could put a perception of how they see their hair and the children instills their opinion in their mind forever. I have nappy hair and I refuse to let people treat nappy hair as its a bad grade of hair.